Romantic relationships usually start well, So why is it so hard for them to last?
The enchanting beginning…
We all love the excitement of courtship and the early stage of relationships, full of hopes and mystery. It is a dreamlike beginning…of lifelong love
WE FEEL GOOD.
We feel valued, appreciated, and special, even if it is all based on assumptions, and projections that have little to do with who we are.
In courtship, and at the beginning of a relationship, our partner’s excitement fuels ours. We both want it to never end. And we think that feeling is love with a big L.
As a result, when the relationship evolves and settles in for the long run, we less and less view our partner with selective glasses. We open our eyes to what is far from exceptional. In fact, we get to know the other with all his or her flaws, and our partner, all of a sudden, points out our own weaknesses to us.
From there on, we have two choices:
- We start blaming him or her for the misunderstandings, the disagreements. Soon enough arguments plague the relationship and our partner loses their aura of attraction. Instead of taking this as an opportunity to grow, we flee this relationship, thinking it is the problem.
- We become aware that our partner may also be a mirror reflecting our flaws. And we decide to look at the part we play in that. When we raise our awareness about our flaws, we are more likely to accept our partner’s weaknesses. At that point, the relationship becomes a potential for growth for both partners.
The banality of relationship breakups and divorce is a staggering proof that the first option is the easiest one. The only rewarding option, however, is the second one, because it opens the door for personal growth.
This choice will present itself in any romantic relationship, sooner rather than later.
Growing with your relationship and learning to show love
We are not perfect. Why are we expecting our relationship to be?
Life teaches us many lessons, and as we learn, we change and grow. A relationship is a partnership of two individuals growing and changing on their own. Therefore the relationship has to evolve.
As routine kicks in, we tend to do and give what we would love to receive, regardless of whether it is meaningful for the other. And we expect the other to return their love the same way.
There may be love but is it perceived as such by our partner? Not necessarily.
Gifts and celebrations become then particularly important to show how much we love and care. Gary Chapman with the 5 Love Languages theory has well illustrated how showing love can be totally undetected by the receiver.
As a result, relationships are work because we must understand how to love efficiently. If we fail to do so, we jeopardize our relationship.
Gift giving is a rare opportunity to show your love
Lasting in a relationship is wonderful. It is a big achievement that we should celebrate.
With time comes a better understanding of ourselves and our partner. We deepen our love through growing experiences.
Gifts and special occasions as the relationship evolves, take on a stronger meaning.
A gift that moves the partner to the core will fill the relationship love tank. It will fuel the positive cycle of gratitude. Only the right gift deeply moves us: it is given at the right time, the right way.
Successful gift giving =Accuracy + Timing +Style
How do we hit the three marks? Knowledge. The more you know your partner and what they love the easier it gets. Does it ever get easy? I have been happily married for over 20 years and my experience tells me it is never easy because our needs change.
When you and your partner succeed in having many memories of moments when you touch each other’s heart, your relationship has the most solid base to go through any storm. And storms, there will be.
As you grow, the relationship blossoms through life experiences.
EZcouple.com is the tool to help you with giving something meaningful to your partner, effortlessly, all the time.
Celebrations and gifts are opportunities for you to nurture your relationship. The uncertainty around gift giving is not easy for the giver, and it is often disappointing for the receiver. EZcouple.com removes the uncertainty so you are left with the joy of a celebration.
Life is unpredictable. It will throw many things at you. Secure the fact that you will please your partner when you decide to do so… join EZcouple.